Forward Edge of Freedom

Sneak Attack on the FEF...

Will I be out of work soon so I can write more????

Enquiring Minds Want to Know! Whatever happened to that ad campaign? Did people think that these tabloids were legitimate due to the ads? I sure did, of course I was 8 at the time..

Speaking of trite overused observations: there was a show about t.v.shows that never were while there was a voiceover making fun of the show during it. Has this format not been overused yet? I just don't get it. Of course, I did watch the entire show, so I suppose question answered...

Unfortunately, it makes my avant-garde observations as hip as David Couillier...

Which really begs the question of whether shows in the future will make fun of our shows? Will they sit there and comment on our commentary? Voice over our voice over? Or will they simply say the millenium produced no writings of any importance, no groundbreaking TV etc. To quote the Misspent One..."Sigh"

I would write more, but unfortunately there was a sneak attack on the FEF, and I am busy debugging the computer...The bad news is I have a new search engine and home page that I did not request. The good news is I know great places for online gambling and porn. Lesson learned. No venutring in the bad neighborhoods on the info-bahn. In fact do not even venture NEAR the "up and coming" neighborhood...

You Taking Notes, the FEF is Giving Pearls!

Help! Drowning in work. Now it is getting ridiculous. I would say that I need a haircut, but since the escaped POW look is coming back, I should be ok...

Some interesting thoughts with drowning in work (In no particular order or inner meaning):

Spare time is silly. Fun can be had staring into space for a couple minutes without thinking about work.

If you are not a morning person, morning sucks at 5 AM, 10 AM, really anytime you wake up for a couple hours

TV, no matter how briefly watched, is like a connection to freedom that only the incarcerated must feel. Test patterns could make me happy sometimes...

With the above in mind "Family Guy" and "Bend it Like Beckham" are the greatest shows ever.

To discuss sports without being in touch, "They are showing me something" has become my favorite meaningless comment to any team or sport, sadly "They just know how to win" has been retired.

And the most important observation:

If you quote a chart from USA Today graph, or the elevator news clips as an observation amongst colleagues, then you are an idiot.

If you are now asking if my assessment changes if you use the Money or Life sections, then yes, my assessment does change: your stupidity is outmatched only by my incredulity at you reading this posting when you are late for showing up at the Today show window with your sign...

That's the Sound of the Man...

Well to avoid irrelevancy, I must explain my absence from the FEF. First of all, I am working on a project with unreal hours in a town far away. The uneducated might think that I am working on a project next to the Unabomber's shack working on the ol' manifesto when I give this tidbit: no Internet at work. Yes, I spend 12-14 hours a day at an office where there is no hope on even checking a little e-mail or reading an outpost of Freedom. Tragic indeed.

There is a bright side. Like a blind man who gets an acute sense of hearing, I have found an acute sense of finding entertainment out of nothing. Yes, the day is highlighted by a quick listen to the radio, and strange commercials. For instance, the mattress commercial with Lindsay Wagner. Is it not odd that the bionic woman is now talking about selling beds easier on the body? Should not the bionic woman not show infallibility? Clearly she is not interested in any remake movie cameo ala Starsky and Hutch. Clearly, the Bionic Woman also got the "Ghetto Booty 3.0" ass upgrade. Wow, the 90's were rough on Ms. Wagner. Apparently Sleep O Matic and Smorgasbord were important words added to the vocab upgrade as well. Ok, no more technology talk…

The other weird thing I heard was a radio ad that started with the celebrity endorsement: "This is Pam Dawber…" Huh? Is Mindy supposed to sell me on anything? Not that the FEF enjoys celebrity endorsements, but what do you think the marketing department said when the ad agency said that they locked in Pam Dawber for the radio spot?

Agency: We got Pam Dawber!
Marketing Department: Is she someone that works with you?
Agency: No for the commercial. A real celebrity endorsement!
Marketing Department: mmmm, not ringing a bell here…
Agency: Mork and Mindy, My Sister Sam…
Marketing Department: I thought she was killed
Agency: No, the other one…(pause) Did I say she was working cheap?
Marketing Department: Now you're talking…

Speaking of My Sister Sam, do you think she felt, just a little bit, deep down some feeling of jealousy that some stalker's murder put Rebecca Schaefer on the map? Do you think, she thought "The show was called My Sister Sam! I was Sam! For God's sake, I was Mindy! Perhaps that was her attitude all along, and then she pulled a Garbo…

What am I talking about? I don't know, it is just good to be back on the FEF...

Striking From Defilade, For a Quick Dreamality

First off, I want to lend my full support to Inkling's Brit watch. As a fellow Humen, I shutter to think that he is gone. There is no question that Special Report is the best news analysis show on television, and it is hard to think that if Clinton did not act like a petulant child to Brit, as a senior white house correspondent for ABC, we would be stuck with him interviewing Catherine Zeta-Jones on Good Morning America, or him exposing the dangers of Milk Bottles on Prime Time Live...Thank God for Fox News.

Anyway, the world has been busy, but yet a Dreamality must be offered for the fans. With the resounding cries for more Cliff De Young, I am forced to think about lost cinema of the past few decades...True Stories. David Byrne, pre Power Point artist...Back when the Talking Heads could do no wrong. This move is so odd, but not odd like movies and plays need to be now, where people have deviant lifestyles secretly, so everyone wants to vomit after leaving the local theater. No, this movie was weird in a way that was just fun to the people watching. No political motive, no plan to insult the rubes of America. Just a movie to see at about 3 AM (back when movies were played late at night on the local stations...remember that? I remember when Deliverance came on at 11, and my Dad said, "Son, this movie is important to watch. Stay up and watch it." I think I was 12. Yikes, I guess I have a storyline for my new play...)

While Pulse and the Gigglesnort Hotel could probably get a skip, Might I recommend True Stories. Of course David Byrne is now using the residuals to try and defeat Bush I assume with George Soros...Oh well, see the movie anyway. Come on and take that ride, it's all right, yeah it's all right....

For Sale: One Island, Overinflated Sense of Self Helpful...

How about it? Now that all the fans of the FEF had some well deserved time off (not really, but isn't it funny when tv and radio personalities point out that they deserve time off...), and before I lose every single fan I ever had, I have decided to get my butt in gear. There has been numerous e-mails from the Cliff DeYoung fans around the world, which has been the glorious part about starting this site. Also, if the FEF seems to shut down that long again, assume that I have started my new business of remaking 80's movies people barely remember.

On a separate note, I wanted to point out something. Remember the old days, where people took their art seriously. Rock stars were always worrying about selling out, artists and actors avoided normal culture and lived like hermits, and we complained about these people taking themselved too seriously? Well, after listening to jingles with Baba O'Reilly and just about every Led Zeppelin song, and being inundated by commercials by Alec Baldwin, Gene Hackman, and Danny Glover, I now wish for the old days. Can't some of these people pull a Garbo or in honor of Marlon Brando they could disappear for a couple decades. Hell, drug problems don't even sideline these people. Remember back when drug problems would make someone disappear for years? Think Carrie Fisher. After Jedi, she was in rehab so long she wrote a book. Now, they don't even miss a cover on People.

Overexposure. Shouldn't one of the byproducts of the onslaught of reality shows be the lack of attention on real celebrities? Sadly, no. Instead it means that these actors are now starved for work and they sell us phone service, cars and IT solutions. Instead they must market themselves into the ground to make sure we still care. That is why the FEF has come up with the easy way for all of us to solve this. When you come across a celebrity, you must not act like you do not recognize them, that would make them act like you are some sort or rube who has no TV or culture. Instead, you must recognize them, but only from their most embarassing episode. Example: the FEF patrols down the street, when who should walk by, but Tim Robbins. Observe the exchange.

FEF: Hey! You're the guy.

TR: (condescendingly) yes, yes

FEF: You were really good in Spring Break

TR: (Jaw drops) mmm, uh yeah.

FEF: Awesome! So what's you been doing since? Do you talk much to Wendell?

TR: (sighs walks off)

Nice, other alternatives would be to use the obscure character: "Hey Merlin from Top Gun, or "Gary Cooper! but not the one that's dead..."

This tip should work, and perhaps soon actors will be buying islands from the Brando estate...

Movie Thought and Tangents Aplenty!

I am about to take a brief vacation...Yes, we just did have some time off, but I will be off again. Perhaps I am preparing for my jet set lifestyle...Getting ready for those tawdry parties no doubt.

Anyway, while this is not a great movie moment, I do want to mention a thought. Pulse. Joey Lawrence. Pre Blossom and Post Gimme a Break. The sky was the limit, so he did the natural thing in 1988: sign on for a sci fi thriller with Cliff De Young. Time for two quick asides.

First: Has there been a bigger let down than the Olsen twins turning 18? I mean Joey Lawrence transitioned better. This was an Andretti at Indy type of meltdown. Right before the big debut, one of them gets an eating disorder? Just when they get to shed the after school special genre, they start living one.

Actually, I was one person who felt they started to get a bit creepy a few years ago when they were always seen holding each other, and they were always drinking coffee in their shows when they were 14. Yikes. I don't hold people I have dated as much as they would cuddle in public, and I was not slogging down the joe before puberty. Needless to say, I was ready for the meltdown of this duo.

Second: Whatever happened to Cliff De Young. I mean people do not even talk about him as a Judd Nelson or Lorenzo Lamas. This guy was in everything for a while. Why can't we have an A.P. or masters degree Kevin Bacon game with Cliff De young. Let's make this happen. I will go first: Sean Connery and Cliff De Young (Easy, I can do that in two actually...)

Back to it. Pulse. Wonderful. Electricity has a mind of its own and it is trying to kill everyone who is building a McMansion in Southern California. The classic scene is when this Obi Wan like old man appears and explains that he knows about the pulse which is why he has only keroscene lamps. The best part is when he tells them "I heard a man on TV say paranoia is another word for heightened awareness." I will bust that line out to receive blank stares of bewilderment. Much like the face that many of you are making who have actually read to the end.

"Keroscene lamps give off a warm glow..."

When 15 Minutes is Not Enough...

After the starbucks (Glen, Glen, Glen) commercial, I came across this about Survivor's lead singer…I cannot even speak it is so off the charts hilarious.

http://www.jimijamison.com/bio.html

Pay special consideration to this rousing endorsement…

Give Jimi the mic and he's in his element... he uses the talent that God gave him and can work a crowd better than a preacher at Sunday morning services. He'll have your grandmother onstage singing "Eye Of The Tiger" or he'll hold your toddler while he's doing "High On You". Audience participation is almost a requirement at a concert with Jimi.

Now the question is this: Who is the target market for this. Am I supposed to feel compelled to go to a Survivor concert. If I am a songwriter, do I want them to sing my songs? This is the tough part about being in the "State Fair Zone." These poor souls cannot fill real clubs or stadiums, yet they are too big to play weddings. So there career is stuck in the Internet hoping for comeback albums that will never come, and maybe playing a venue for nostalgic purposes. Post Great White, perhaps that is not the best answer. So in short, thank God for hip Starbucks commercials. This would be the Music industry's version of "Extra Time." In Pole Position, when you do not qualify for the next race, but you get to keep going an extra lap until your time runs out. You really did not advance, but you did not end right away. I guess that is like a 16th minute in the overused Warhol analogy. Make sure you get your initials right at the end...

With this mention of Warhol, I now realize that I might have someone who is googling Warhol and went to the 500th O.

A Quick Rule and an Even Quicker Dreamality

Well with all this traffic, I wanted to say thanks to all those who stopped by an made a comment. I would respond to my points, but I think since I publish my points, that I will let people voice theirs. I am always annoyed by the blogs where the writer responds to every attack by clarifying and making points that were not in the original article. I will say that one of the latest comments was very well spoken and made some great points comparing RW to jazz. Makes sense, since I cannot stand Jazz. That is for another post in general. Right now, a brief dreamality:

Dragon's Lair. It was an arcade game where a cartoon went on and you had to make moves at certain times. If you were successful the scene of the character passing the challenge was shown, not successful and you were shown falling into a well, getting eaten by a dragon etc. I suppose when we were used to Bump 'n Jump and Moon Patrol, this cartoon game was better. Sorry for another fantasy and video game reference, but man, it has been in my head all day.

Stand Down? No, I'm Just Getting Warmed up!

All right, I have taken the high road, and offered my peace to a man who I criticized (I am avoiding the name, because of it, google has built a superhighway through my little website). Oh well, while I do not apologize for a moment on my criticism of his writings and I think my analysis of it is good, thanks to everyone who decided to leave comments without reading my posting fully. But once again, it is excellent to have people respond angrily about me attacking RW personally, which I did not, with personal attacks on myself. The FEF was not won by a popularity contest, however, so I will continue to write what I think is right. Thanks to all who have visited lately, and I hope you enjoy the site. What you will NOT see, however, is any sort of qualifying of my criticism of RW. I was insulted by his defending of the girl basketball player turning her back on the flag, and I was insulted at his seemingly intentional omission of positive comments on Cpl. Tillman.

That being said, let's put that to bed, and let’s get back to another movie moment and a Ronbo tribute. First some words from the great communicator:

Optimism comes less easily today, not because democracy is less vigorous, but because democracy's enemies have refined their instruments of repression. Yet optimism is in order because day by day democracy is proving itself to be a not at all fragile flower. From Stettin on the Baltic to Varna on the Black Sea, the regimes planted by totalitarianism have had more than thirty years to establish their legitimacy. But none -- not one regime -- has yet been able to risk free elections. Regimes planted by bayonets do not take root.

Evil Empire Speech to the House of Commons 1982

The movie moment of the day, sorry but we will detour from the 80's and hit one of the favorites in the FEF: Scent of a Woman.
Where to we just choose one scene to solidify a moment. Some would say Pacino's speech at the end…fun, but not the best. The best scene is the Thanksgiving dinner at the Slade family. LTC Slade (Pacino) spends the entire evening insulting the family, holding court as he tended to do the entire film, and them like a moment nephew Randy(Bradley Whitford) starts goading Pacino, and explains in a few moments the failures of Pacino's entire career and life. At first Pacino, chimes in with a HUAH! Until the final few biting words:

Randy: God's a funny guy.

LTC Slade: God doth have a sense of humor…

Randy: Maybe he thinks some people don't deserve to see

LTC Slade: (under his breath) hooo, ah!

My first commander was an Irishman who stated that every year he stayed in the Army, he felt more like LTC Slade every day. Especially in times when people forget about the sacrifice brave men make on the FEF, it definitely felt hard to associate with the regular world. When I would tell people I was in the Army, people's first question was, "When are you getting out?" The other question was "Why did you want to join the Army?" How exactly do you explain about duty and patriotism and looking for a place where integrity is still important. Especially when the order of business is lying and stealing in the oval office. Also the people asking were members of our infamous "Baby Boomers." Americas greatest freeloaders…

When people forget about what the Army instills, we veterans and active troopers get a little louder and louder and then you have…LTC Slade. That scene always reminds me that underneath all the bravado is a man who wanted to sacrifice all he could, and ,deep down, would appreciate some recognition for it.

Another 80's Movie...(yet C.H.U.D. still not getting its due)

Well, I really have no excuse for the lapse in my postings. Work has been a bear, unfortunately and even now, my eyes are glazing over from staring at the computer screen. Let's imagine how nice this blog would be if I were to pursue this as my full time job. Perhaps I should renegotiate with Type Pad for them to pay ME $8.95/month. I will keep you posted on the heated negotiations…

Anyway, I need to get back up to speed. The google searches are flying in which is growing the viewership by incredibly large multiples everyday. So without further adieu, time for a Ronbo passage

Cartoonists with acid-tipped pens portray some of the reminders of our heritage and our destiny as old-fashioned. They say that we are trying to retreat into a past that actually never existed. Looking to the past in an effort to keep our country from repeating the errors of history is termed by them as “taking the country back to McKinley.” Of course I never found that was so bad -- under McKinley we freed Cuba. On the span of history, we are still thought of as a young upstart country celebrating soon only our second century as a nation, and yet we are the oldest continuing republic in the world.

-from the "City upon the Hill" Speech Jan 25, 1974.

Now for the movie moment:
She's Having a Baby A classic from the John Hughes days. Kevin Bacon and his cast with that giddy (I am part of the game now!) look on their faces portray a typical young couple facing growing as adults, new jobs, and growing a family. Although late 80's and looking a bit dated, there are still some classic scenes that I can relate to. Being unmarried and having no children (that I know of, alla Steve Garvey), the family parts are not the most meaningful to me (although the idea that they got married out of college makes me light headed…). The part that we are discussing is Kevin Bacon and his job. First the interview when he is called out for completely lying on his resume and has to answer the all important questions:

Interviewer: How do you feel about slave wages?

Bacon: Slave wages are fine.

Interviewer: How do you feel about alcoholics?

Bacon: (pause)I Like alcoholics?

The questions that seem to be completely worthless in interviews. Being unprepared and getting asked worthless questions. Happens all the time. One interview I had starts with me in a dark suit realizing right before the interview that I had white dry cleaner stains all over my suit coat, and then I was asked about which products I was most interested in in their company, and I named the same one twice…brilliant. Hire that man!

The other more telling scene is when his boss, Dennis Dugan, gives him some telling advice:

DD: I live my life in varying degrees of happiness: I support my family in a way that makes me happy, I have a great house, I have a really nice car, and once a year I write an ad that I'm proud of

Bacon: And that's what you want?

DD: No, that's what I take. You never get what you want. The guy that jumps off the Michigan Avenue Bridge on his 40th birthday wants more than he will ever get. Relax…it only gets worse.

When I was young I did think the boss was depressing, but every year I feel more and more like him. Whether it is Steiglitz, Satre, Freud. No matter the discipline and the equations used, we are all trying to figure out why we make the decisions we do, and how we maximize our own utility, happiness, etc. My own Gen X has people that sit around for months and years wondering what they really want to do. In the end they never accomplish anything. Think of Reagan and other past generations. Do you think they sat around in foxholes in Bastogne or breadlines in California wondering if maybe their calling is to be a sculptor? Now, you can babble about Maslow and self actualization all you want, but in the end I have a friend who said it best: "I always know I am doing what I should be, because I picked the job I knew I was best at." Simple, yes. But when you think of your friend "following his dream" and he stinks at what he is doing. Is this guy going to be wandering around the Michigan Avenue bridge in a couple years?