Well to avoid irrelevancy, I must explain my absence from the FEF. First of all, I am working on a project with unreal hours in a town far away. The uneducated might think that I am working on a project next to the Unabomber's shack working on the ol' manifesto when I give this tidbit: no Internet at work. Yes, I spend 12-14 hours a day at an office where there is no hope on even checking a little e-mail or reading an outpost of Freedom. Tragic indeed.
There is a bright side. Like a blind man who gets an acute sense of hearing, I have found an acute sense of finding entertainment out of nothing. Yes, the day is highlighted by a quick listen to the radio, and strange commercials. For instance, the mattress commercial with Lindsay Wagner. Is it not odd that the bionic woman is now talking about selling beds easier on the body? Should not the bionic woman not show infallibility? Clearly she is not interested in any remake movie cameo ala Starsky and Hutch. Clearly, the Bionic Woman also got the "Ghetto Booty 3.0" ass upgrade. Wow, the 90's were rough on Ms. Wagner. Apparently Sleep O Matic and Smorgasbord were important words added to the vocab upgrade as well. Ok, no more technology talk…
The other weird thing I heard was a radio ad that started with the celebrity endorsement: "This is Pam Dawber…" Huh? Is Mindy supposed to sell me on anything? Not that the FEF enjoys celebrity endorsements, but what do you think the marketing department said when the ad agency said that they locked in Pam Dawber for the radio spot?
Agency: We got Pam Dawber!
Marketing Department: Is she someone that works with you?
Agency: No for the commercial. A real celebrity endorsement!
Marketing Department: mmmm, not ringing a bell here…
Agency: Mork and Mindy, My Sister Sam…
Marketing Department: I thought she was killed
Agency: No, the other one…(pause) Did I say she was working cheap?
Marketing Department: Now you're talking…
Speaking of My Sister Sam, do you think she felt, just a little bit, deep down some feeling of jealousy that some stalker's murder put Rebecca Schaefer on the map? Do you think, she thought "The show was called My Sister Sam! I was Sam! For God's sake, I was Mindy! Perhaps that was her attitude all along, and then she pulled a Garbo…
What am I talking about? I don't know, it is just good to be back on the FEF...
Don't ever say an unkind word about Lindsay Wagner! She is without a doubt the finest specimen of aging womanhood ever. And what a voice....
Welcome back, my friend. Welcome back, indeed.
(Sorry, I know we're not friends. I just like saying that.)
Posted by: inkling | August 04, 2004 at 00:36
It is about time, I hoped...er, thought that you had died. It is rather sad about that internet and bad hours. I pray that this does not happen to me anytime soon. I do not know what I would do. Probably cry. I cry a lot.
Posted by: The Misspent Life | August 04, 2004 at 06:33