Forward Edge of Freedom

Sneak Attack on the FEF...

Will I be out of work soon so I can write more????

Enquiring Minds Want to Know! Whatever happened to that ad campaign? Did people think that these tabloids were legitimate due to the ads? I sure did, of course I was 8 at the time..

Speaking of trite overused observations: there was a show about t.v.shows that never were while there was a voiceover making fun of the show during it. Has this format not been overused yet? I just don't get it. Of course, I did watch the entire show, so I suppose question answered...

Unfortunately, it makes my avant-garde observations as hip as David Couillier...

Which really begs the question of whether shows in the future will make fun of our shows? Will they sit there and comment on our commentary? Voice over our voice over? Or will they simply say the millenium produced no writings of any importance, no groundbreaking TV etc. To quote the Misspent One..."Sigh"

I would write more, but unfortunately there was a sneak attack on the FEF, and I am busy debugging the computer...The bad news is I have a new search engine and home page that I did not request. The good news is I know great places for online gambling and porn. Lesson learned. No venutring in the bad neighborhoods on the info-bahn. In fact do not even venture NEAR the "up and coming" neighborhood...

You Taking Notes, the FEF is Giving Pearls!

Help! Drowning in work. Now it is getting ridiculous. I would say that I need a haircut, but since the escaped POW look is coming back, I should be ok...

Some interesting thoughts with drowning in work (In no particular order or inner meaning):

Spare time is silly. Fun can be had staring into space for a couple minutes without thinking about work.

If you are not a morning person, morning sucks at 5 AM, 10 AM, really anytime you wake up for a couple hours

TV, no matter how briefly watched, is like a connection to freedom that only the incarcerated must feel. Test patterns could make me happy sometimes...

With the above in mind "Family Guy" and "Bend it Like Beckham" are the greatest shows ever.

To discuss sports without being in touch, "They are showing me something" has become my favorite meaningless comment to any team or sport, sadly "They just know how to win" has been retired.

And the most important observation:

If you quote a chart from USA Today graph, or the elevator news clips as an observation amongst colleagues, then you are an idiot.

If you are now asking if my assessment changes if you use the Money or Life sections, then yes, my assessment does change: your stupidity is outmatched only by my incredulity at you reading this posting when you are late for showing up at the Today show window with your sign...

Birth of a Liberal: A Study in Naivete

Rememebr that first feeling of "Whoa, I am deep…"

That first feeling was like when you are a kid and you think that maybe all the crazy people are on the outside, and all the sane people are locked up. This thought was usually debated at camp in between stories of the friend of the friend's head banging against the car, and the exploding stomach filled with pop rocks and Coke…

Then, most people (most who choose to not stand on the FEF, of course) decide to hibernate their deep thoughts until college when some Womyn's studies professor explains of the evils of all white men. Alas, someone lost to all reason. They take that first gulp of deep thought (the crazy people idea = moral relativism) mix it with an agenda driven propagandist and an ideology is born. As this person grows up, they listen to NPR because the soothing guitars and calm speaking provides that coffee house feeling of superiority one gets while shelling out 3.95 for coffee and milk. Plus, this person, and we shall call her "Molly," never heard the story of the poor Vermont farmer who was ruined by the greedy corporation until the trial lawyer thankfully stepped in and put the company out of business. This NPR news is a different slant for Molly…(think the looney bin story…). "Well," Molly thinks, "I care about this poor farmer so clearly we must help these poor souls. Molly was too busy filling up her Nalgene bottle and rolling her eyes during Economics class, so she missed the whole "White Man Conspiracy Theory" about efficient markets, supply and demand etc…Much like no thought is given from an adolescent to say, "Wait a minute. These people in the looney bin drool on themselves, hear voices from Willard Scott, and wear jammies all the time. I think the right people are on the right side of the walls on this one…"

And thus another liberal is born…misguided until she bothers to actually notice all the money coming out of her meager PR assistant's salary...Of course, she is getting her periodical news from Rolling Stone (in between Cosmo quizzes of such importance as: "Are you a slut? Take the test now!" Or "9 ways to drive your man crazy!")and her TV news from the Daily Show. She also will base her opinion on who to vote for from sitting down and really "thinking about the issues"…unless of course the new season of the Apprentice gets in the way…Yes, indecision, lack of ideology and convictions. True signs of a deep thinker. Hey Molly, be sure to Vote…on Wednesday.

That's the Sound of the Man...

Well to avoid irrelevancy, I must explain my absence from the FEF. First of all, I am working on a project with unreal hours in a town far away. The uneducated might think that I am working on a project next to the Unabomber's shack working on the ol' manifesto when I give this tidbit: no Internet at work. Yes, I spend 12-14 hours a day at an office where there is no hope on even checking a little e-mail or reading an outpost of Freedom. Tragic indeed.

There is a bright side. Like a blind man who gets an acute sense of hearing, I have found an acute sense of finding entertainment out of nothing. Yes, the day is highlighted by a quick listen to the radio, and strange commercials. For instance, the mattress commercial with Lindsay Wagner. Is it not odd that the bionic woman is now talking about selling beds easier on the body? Should not the bionic woman not show infallibility? Clearly she is not interested in any remake movie cameo ala Starsky and Hutch. Clearly, the Bionic Woman also got the "Ghetto Booty 3.0" ass upgrade. Wow, the 90's were rough on Ms. Wagner. Apparently Sleep O Matic and Smorgasbord were important words added to the vocab upgrade as well. Ok, no more technology talk…

The other weird thing I heard was a radio ad that started with the celebrity endorsement: "This is Pam Dawber…" Huh? Is Mindy supposed to sell me on anything? Not that the FEF enjoys celebrity endorsements, but what do you think the marketing department said when the ad agency said that they locked in Pam Dawber for the radio spot?

Agency: We got Pam Dawber!
Marketing Department: Is she someone that works with you?
Agency: No for the commercial. A real celebrity endorsement!
Marketing Department: mmmm, not ringing a bell here…
Agency: Mork and Mindy, My Sister Sam…
Marketing Department: I thought she was killed
Agency: No, the other one…(pause) Did I say she was working cheap?
Marketing Department: Now you're talking…

Speaking of My Sister Sam, do you think she felt, just a little bit, deep down some feeling of jealousy that some stalker's murder put Rebecca Schaefer on the map? Do you think, she thought "The show was called My Sister Sam! I was Sam! For God's sake, I was Mindy! Perhaps that was her attitude all along, and then she pulled a Garbo…

What am I talking about? I don't know, it is just good to be back on the FEF...