Forward Edge of Freedom

Pass the hair gel, I am Getting a Lehman!

Before I begin with anything...Let's realize that there was not just one song about ET, there were 2. Always remember that fact. Can you name any other movies where songs were written about them without promoting the film? The FEF has not come up with anything at all. And no, I am not going to answer the goofy lists that seem to be the rave now. I am not one to follow trends blindly! That is why I have a blog ...hmmm.

Too busy to write much more...I am reading the 9/11 commission report. I hope they explain why Tom Lehman and Bob Kerrey went with the Backstreet Boy haircuts for the hearings. I wonder if Osama Ben-Veniste thought of getting in on it. Nah, he was probably putting the moves on Gorelick. Wow, what a looker...I should be done by April...

FEF Note: That is a joke, I am not about to pull a HMQ move here...

Striking From Defilade, For a Quick Dreamality

First off, I want to lend my full support to Inkling's Brit watch. As a fellow Humen, I shutter to think that he is gone. There is no question that Special Report is the best news analysis show on television, and it is hard to think that if Clinton did not act like a petulant child to Brit, as a senior white house correspondent for ABC, we would be stuck with him interviewing Catherine Zeta-Jones on Good Morning America, or him exposing the dangers of Milk Bottles on Prime Time Live...Thank God for Fox News.

Anyway, the world has been busy, but yet a Dreamality must be offered for the fans. With the resounding cries for more Cliff De Young, I am forced to think about lost cinema of the past few decades...True Stories. David Byrne, pre Power Point artist...Back when the Talking Heads could do no wrong. This move is so odd, but not odd like movies and plays need to be now, where people have deviant lifestyles secretly, so everyone wants to vomit after leaving the local theater. No, this movie was weird in a way that was just fun to the people watching. No political motive, no plan to insult the rubes of America. Just a movie to see at about 3 AM (back when movies were played late at night on the local stations...remember that? I remember when Deliverance came on at 11, and my Dad said, "Son, this movie is important to watch. Stay up and watch it." I think I was 12. Yikes, I guess I have a storyline for my new play...)

While Pulse and the Gigglesnort Hotel could probably get a skip, Might I recommend True Stories. Of course David Byrne is now using the residuals to try and defeat Bush I assume with George Soros...Oh well, see the movie anyway. Come on and take that ride, it's all right, yeah it's all right....

For Sale: One Island, Overinflated Sense of Self Helpful...

How about it? Now that all the fans of the FEF had some well deserved time off (not really, but isn't it funny when tv and radio personalities point out that they deserve time off...), and before I lose every single fan I ever had, I have decided to get my butt in gear. There has been numerous e-mails from the Cliff DeYoung fans around the world, which has been the glorious part about starting this site. Also, if the FEF seems to shut down that long again, assume that I have started my new business of remaking 80's movies people barely remember.

On a separate note, I wanted to point out something. Remember the old days, where people took their art seriously. Rock stars were always worrying about selling out, artists and actors avoided normal culture and lived like hermits, and we complained about these people taking themselved too seriously? Well, after listening to jingles with Baba O'Reilly and just about every Led Zeppelin song, and being inundated by commercials by Alec Baldwin, Gene Hackman, and Danny Glover, I now wish for the old days. Can't some of these people pull a Garbo or in honor of Marlon Brando they could disappear for a couple decades. Hell, drug problems don't even sideline these people. Remember back when drug problems would make someone disappear for years? Think Carrie Fisher. After Jedi, she was in rehab so long she wrote a book. Now, they don't even miss a cover on People.

Overexposure. Shouldn't one of the byproducts of the onslaught of reality shows be the lack of attention on real celebrities? Sadly, no. Instead it means that these actors are now starved for work and they sell us phone service, cars and IT solutions. Instead they must market themselves into the ground to make sure we still care. That is why the FEF has come up with the easy way for all of us to solve this. When you come across a celebrity, you must not act like you do not recognize them, that would make them act like you are some sort or rube who has no TV or culture. Instead, you must recognize them, but only from their most embarassing episode. Example: the FEF patrols down the street, when who should walk by, but Tim Robbins. Observe the exchange.

FEF: Hey! You're the guy.

TR: (condescendingly) yes, yes

FEF: You were really good in Spring Break

TR: (Jaw drops) mmm, uh yeah.

FEF: Awesome! So what's you been doing since? Do you talk much to Wendell?

TR: (sighs walks off)

Nice, other alternatives would be to use the obscure character: "Hey Merlin from Top Gun, or "Gary Cooper! but not the one that's dead..."

This tip should work, and perhaps soon actors will be buying islands from the Brando estate...

Movie Thought and Tangents Aplenty!

I am about to take a brief vacation...Yes, we just did have some time off, but I will be off again. Perhaps I am preparing for my jet set lifestyle...Getting ready for those tawdry parties no doubt.

Anyway, while this is not a great movie moment, I do want to mention a thought. Pulse. Joey Lawrence. Pre Blossom and Post Gimme a Break. The sky was the limit, so he did the natural thing in 1988: sign on for a sci fi thriller with Cliff De Young. Time for two quick asides.

First: Has there been a bigger let down than the Olsen twins turning 18? I mean Joey Lawrence transitioned better. This was an Andretti at Indy type of meltdown. Right before the big debut, one of them gets an eating disorder? Just when they get to shed the after school special genre, they start living one.

Actually, I was one person who felt they started to get a bit creepy a few years ago when they were always seen holding each other, and they were always drinking coffee in their shows when they were 14. Yikes. I don't hold people I have dated as much as they would cuddle in public, and I was not slogging down the joe before puberty. Needless to say, I was ready for the meltdown of this duo.

Second: Whatever happened to Cliff De Young. I mean people do not even talk about him as a Judd Nelson or Lorenzo Lamas. This guy was in everything for a while. Why can't we have an A.P. or masters degree Kevin Bacon game with Cliff De young. Let's make this happen. I will go first: Sean Connery and Cliff De Young (Easy, I can do that in two actually...)

Back to it. Pulse. Wonderful. Electricity has a mind of its own and it is trying to kill everyone who is building a McMansion in Southern California. The classic scene is when this Obi Wan like old man appears and explains that he knows about the pulse which is why he has only keroscene lamps. The best part is when he tells them "I heard a man on TV say paranoia is another word for heightened awareness." I will bust that line out to receive blank stares of bewilderment. Much like the face that many of you are making who have actually read to the end.

"Keroscene lamps give off a warm glow..."

Trip to America? Maybe Next Century

Rear D

This is military speak for Rear Detachment. These are the people who stay behind at military instillations while a unit is deployed overseas. They are the people that deal with issues regarding deployed servicemen's families. It is thankless job that required them to handle angry and frustrated wives' phone calls, while also maintaining the facilities and left behind equipment while soldiers are fighting overseas. Many of them also serve as a casualty officer. That is the grim task of personally informing people of their loved ones death. There are a lot of great guys who get assigned this duty who would gladly volunteer to be fighting overseas.

That being said, there are unfortunately some less that stellar warriors who try and worm their way onto this duty. These people list a variety of reasons for volunteering for this, but, in the end the people that volunteer to stay are afraid. Afraid of doing the job they volunteered for. As a result, the "Rear D" soldier is the military equivalent of the kid not picked in kick ball.

Further poor allusions are due to the age old vision of men not going off to fight providing "comfort" to lonely wives. There is a mythical name for this person. He is called Jody. What is nice is that Jody is a unisex name, so it can now apply to both fighting men and women. When a soldier deploys "downrange" (could be for a training exercise, could be war…I should create a glossary someday to help), Jody impregnates the wife, steals the car, and basically becomes a Kato Kaelin like figure in the house. This is why marching or cadence calls are sometimes called "Jodies." They are meant for Jody to run off because the soldiers are returning.

Looking back at history, one realizes that there always was a "Rear D" or Jody for everyone that went in harms way. These are the men who decided or were not able to head out into the great unknown. Think of the colonization of America. Trading companies offered new lives and riches. All that was needed was a bit of stake money, and a lot of bravery. As news reached Europe of religious freedom, ample farmland, and escape from a plebian lifestyle, more and more people seeking fortune decided it was worth the risk. Sure Indians chopped up babies and raped women, and entire colonies died from disease and hunger, but who wanted to sit through what meager offerings there were in Bonn, Bath, and Beyond?

I will tell you who. Most of the ancestors of the population of Europe. Think of it. Their ancestors were daunted and afraid of venturing to this new world. With the exception of descendants of the bloated European aristocracy, the rest were content in their meager jobs, with their meager stations in life, and were happy to work with no possibility of improving themselves. Sure they were able to comfort Johann, Nigel and Jacques's wife in their absence, but that is it. Generation after Generation sat in pubs and cafes with no hope of anything else. No wonder they began to philosophize of God's demise. Hell. Their lives were one big wait for Godot…Besides meaningless plays, some food, paintings and sexual inventions (let's be frank (NPI) ménage a trios ain't in English people…), what has Europe really given us?

So, here is Olde Europe 2004. No aspirations. No hope. One Euro Disney. Lots of Porn. The only thing they worry about is their lives ending. Self preservation is the only worry. So why would we think these people who are the "Rear D" of the world would ever want to stand a post on the FEF.

I am not going to debate nature vs. nurture right now, but let's think of the United States. Everyone here wanted more. Yes, even the Indians didn't start here (can you say land bridge…). So generation after generation wanted something better for themselves. More riches, more freedom, super size this, McMansion me that. Instead of being embarrassed about it, embrace it. We are descendants of frontiersmen. We are generations of people that are not content of the status quo. We should not forget that. Many people who have been here a bit too long seem to want to turn this into Europe. Michael Moore (notice I did not do the Michael Moores of the world thing…I am trying to help out) and others wish we could turn into a content little society is not competitive and is not striving for something more. We must resist this. We must continue to be restless. We do not want another continent of Jodies running around. We have Freedom to defend. I am going to move right now...

Prepositions and Gerunds Never Secured a Beachhead

Here we are back in business. Holiday over, and the fight must go on. One brief comment on the comments. If you will see from the misspent life, there was some disagreement about whether we are engaged in a fight for ideas. My point is not that ideas are not being fought about, and the like, but the idea that many of the intellectuals on both sides like to act like this war is fought in tweed coats and pipes while drinking coffee on the lecture circuit. My point is that these people, while intelligent and (self-)important, cannot be seen as the winners of these wars. Nazis were not beaten because their ideas were so terrible. They were beaten because there were a few million people who fought better and tougher and beat the Hun back through superior fighters. Were the ideals of freedom superior? Sure they were. Did the intellectuals motivate our side to fight stronger? Absolutely. But in the end, machine gun nests were not taken by ideas, nor were cities and bridges captured through a giant academic decathlon like in Billy Madison…

Despite what John Kerry and other liberals in the 80's wished, the Soviet Union only went away because they were terrified of the M1 Abrams Tank, Pershing missiles and the several hundred thousand soldiers sailors and airmen we had all over Europe. The point of the 4th of July posting is to remember that the men that are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are winning this war of "ideas." We are not pondering the issues of school vouchers and abortion right now. We must re-elect our President to stop a group of people who will not stop until we are wiped from this Earth.

Happy Birthday, Freedom!

Sorry again for the lack of posts. It is a holiday weekend, and I am sure many of you are not racing around to look at the updates, but I hope in all the BBQ's we remember that we are not grilling burgers and watching fireworks if not for some brave people that came before us to protect us.

We are once again engaged in a struggle and contrary to many who wear tweed jackets, this is not a war of ideas. We must choose the more difficult right to the easier wrong. While watching the "Hitler Channel" (What would this channel do, without the WWII? Would we have weekends dedicated to Grenada?) there was a special on the SS and its rise in Germany. There are easy things to remember. First, these fanatics were alligned with the SA, or German Socialists, and 2) they gained much of their power in the early 30's. Perhaps millions could have been saved with intervention earlier. Right now, we are doing this work in the Middle East while others want to wait for a bloody reckonging a decade or two from now. Hopefully, our nation will choose this more difficult right preventing future bloodshed. At least, the country is heading in that direction now, and we do not have aplogists and weak minded men in charge of our nation's future. Otherwise, I worry that kids in 4th or 5th grade will have much tougher work ahead of them...

Thank God for all those on the FEF, past present, and future.