Right On or Write Off: Dot Coms Hustle Gen Xers into Infamy

The 90's tech boom is our generation's Disco.

When I say Disco, I do not mean that from years of playing Karatika and Logo on Apple IIe's, we would rather form start up companies rather than have cocaine filled, wild orgies in Studio 54 (although, that may be the case…), the point is that every generation has a moment in time that defines them. It quickly makes everyone think, "What the **** were we thinking?"

We did not do this in music…Grunge is still heard today (note to Gen Y: get your own alternative music, quit stealing ours!). We did not do this in fashion. Debate? Think of this: Walk into a place with flannels and ripped jeans, then walk into a place with a white disco suit. See which gets you more stares.

So think back to the late 90's. It was not the "Decade of Greed" of course, since a Republican was not in office, but the same types of things were involved. People leaving high paying jobs to get in on "the New New Thing." The things people were leaving for: a Porsche with your bonus, working fewer hours, millions of stock options. As I was out on the FEF, friends would report to me that they were going to work about 5 more years and then do what they "had passion for." Ahh, right, 7 years of work, take a load off… There were so many things that made me laugh about this goofy time, let's break them down…(not Dr. Jack Ramsay style…I am no Bill Simmons)

The New Economy Everyone with an economics degree who believed that, please burn your diplomas…Yes, no more business fluctuations. Now that we have the Internet, there will not be a bust. Good thinking. Tulips, Trading Companies, Auto and Railroad stocks, Junk Bonds…they were all fools. We are wearing business casual. Our lack of suits is the panacea that hundreds of years of business failed to see…

Altruistic and Altogether Dumb Deals. These were the best: "My web site, Hangers.com, is so people can eliminate that hassle of standing up, going to the store etc. Soon homeless people will be able to go online and get the hangers so they will not look wrinkled when they apply for a job. Wrinkled clothing, you know, tops the list for reasons for destitution. That is the difference with our firm. We are not like the greedy capitalists of the past. Where did I park my Porsche? I have to close on my house in Atherton…" Yeah, changing the world, one lazy hanger buyer at a time. COMPARISON: perhaps Yvonne Elliman and the Gibbs were sitting around with Dick Clark explaining all music will have electronic violins in the future with that rattlesnake sound in the background (think "A fifth of Beethoven").

The New New Jargon…Let's list the favorites: Paradigm shift, outside the box, dot-coms (remember the debate on the proper spelling?), burn rates, Synergies, E things: E Commerce, E meetings, E trading, E postal rampages…COMPARISON: Right On, Jive talking, man, blood...

I'm an idiot Dot-com. I can understand the first few firms doing this, but then when "bricks and mortar" (put it on the list!) firms are adding dot coms to themselves, and then switching back. Don't blame them, firms that were IPOed were selling at a premium with the dot com name at the end of it. COMPARISON: Queen. Hard Rock band of the mid 70's, to lighter pop later. Totally fair? No, but they sang "Radio Ga Ga." NEVER forget that!

Dot Com Man...COMPARISON Disco Stu (yes, he is a Simpson's character…thanks for the news)

The Sock puppet, the stupid Genuity Black Rocket, and every other dot com commercial…COMPARISON: well, they did have Disco Duck

Now if it were just mania, for money, that is not embarrassing. The Gold rush, the roaring 20's, everyone had their day. It is more about the hubris of acting like somehow we were different. Making money is fine, riding a boom is fine. But to act like things are different now is like doing the hustle on a flashing floor, and think that the Twist and the Charleston did not exist for previous generations. Maybe living in a vacuum means there is no air for anyone to say how dumb you look.

Comments

[The Misspent One]

Aside from a few blurred examples relating to the 1980s I think this is your best effort yet! I have one more for you. The Disco Demolition. Just like the stock market crash.

Let's all go to Comisky Park and blow up disco records!

Let's all blow our parent's 401(k)s on rimless glasses and new age offices with billiards tables!